Smoking Ganesh Bidis Isn’t Blasphemous, Is It?

This news item is fascinating.

The government in the Indian state of Meghalaya has confiscated textbooks showing pictures of Jesus Christ holding a cigarette and a can of beer.

Presumably someone just grabbed a Jesus picture off the web and stuck it in the textbook without noticing that He was holding a cigarette and a can of beer.

This is excellent news, because it provides me with an opportunity to tell my Smoking Jesus joke, which I learned from Dee Wood about twenty-nine years ago.

Jesus is walking down the road, carrying his cross. It’s a hot day and he’s thirsty.

He walks by a Hovel.

Guy standing in front of the Hovel: “Hey, man, ain’t you Jesus Christ?”

Jesus: “Yeah, that’s me, man.”

Guy: “Hey, that cross looks real heavy.”

Jesus: “Yeah, man, it’s a real pain in the ass. Hey, you got some water?”

Guy: “Sure,” (gets a dipperful of water and hands it to Jesus)

Jesus: (leans his cross against the wall of the hovel, drinks the water) “Thanks, man.”

Guy: “No problem, Jesus. Hey, you want a cigarette?”

Jesus: “Sure, man, a cigarette would hit the spot right about now.”

Guy: (pulls out a packet of Raleighs, takes two out, hands one to Jesus, puts the other in his mouth. Strikes a match, lights Jesus up, then himself. They smoke for a minute.)

Jesus: “Yeaaaaah, man. That’s a good smoke. Love that wonderful Raleigh taste. Say, man, do you save the coupons?”

Guy: “You want the coupon? Sure, Jesus, that’s cool.” (Takes the coupon out of the pack, hands it to Jesus, who puts it in his pocket)

Guy: “Say, Jesus, I didn’t know you saved Raleigh coupons.”

Jesus: “Of course I save the coupons! How the hell do you think I got the cross?

This joke only makes sense if you remember this:

Practicing Inside Rhythmic Cycles

One of the most challenging areas for many students of Hindustani music is working within rhythmic cycles. The ready availability of tabla machines has not solved this problem, because the core issue has more to do with not knowing how to practice than with not having a tabla player available all the time.

It is helpful to spend some time analyzing the various components of rhythmic-cycle practice. Once a singer begins this work, the cognitive load goes waaaaaay up; a lot more brain cells are required to keep all the elements of the musical equation under control. While holistic, gestalt-oriented practice is a must, it can be very helpful to break things down into smaller components and approach them with reductionistic ruthlessness.

To be competent in rhythmic-cycle-based improvisation, a singer must:

1 – be able to process rhythmic information concurrently with intonational information. That is to say, you have to be able to hear and feel the beats without getting distracted by them to the point that you go out of tune.

2 – be able to recognize important beats in the cycle and recalibrate according to position. That is, you have to hear crucial structural points and have enough cognitive strength available to lengthen or shorten your melodic line if necessary.

3 – be able to make coherent melodic shapes of specific lengths. In performance, it’s not enough to start an improvised melody at a specific point in the rhythm and finish it at another point — the melody you’re making needs to make sense. And (as if that weren’t enough) it needs to make sense at several levels; it has to be correct in raga terms, and it has to have gestural integrity. Those two are emphatically not the same thing.

Let’s take those distinct skills in turn, and I’ll discuss some ways of approaching them in the course of your practice.

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Month 2, Day 21: Setting The Wreckers Straight

Figured I’d send this one off to the Boston Herald. They haven’t printed anything of mine yet, of course, but I figure it does them good to hear from those of us on the Side of the Light. And you can’t go wrong trashing Jim Inhofe. That guy gives lying, hypocrisy and stupidity a really bad image.

Predictably, snowfall in Washington sets Republican politicians off on another round of climate-change denial. James Inhofe and his ilk would like us to believe that global warming doesn’t exist, that humans aren’t responsible, that localized cold and snow disprove it, and that in any case, doing something about it would cost too much and disrupt Americans’ God-given right to convenient, unthinking consumption. Wrong on all counts: worldwide measurements show indisputably that our climate is heating up, and ninety-seven percent of climate scientists agree that human activity is causing this. A warmer global climate means weirder local weather, including things like blizzards in Washington and Texas along with record highs in Greenland and Europe.

The sociopolitical effects of climate change include massive economic disturbances, “water wars,” and millions of climate refugees. It’s obvious that the cost of addressing the crisis is trivial compared to the cost of failure. Obvious, that is, to anyone except Senator Inhofe and the rest of the G.O.P.

Warren Senders

Have you written a letter recently? Why not?

As always, feel free to use one of mine.

More Music from Ramakrishnabua Vaze

Here are three more of the classic 78 rpm discs recorded by Pandit Ramakrishna Vaze (1871 – 1945). At some point soon I will post the long version of his Miyan ki Malhar, a classic recording from the AIR archives; it’s longer than the maximum allowed by YouTube, so I’ll be using Vimeo for that one.

The complex compound raga Khat

Deodhar tells some amusing stories of Vazebua’s eccentricity:

“In 1927 I requested Buwasaheb to pay a visit to my music school. He appeared in a loose shirt and haphazardly torn cap…Some of our boys and girls sang for him. After this I requested him to say a few words to the students. He started his address with these words, ‘I am a simple person. I do not like to dress up. I have a jacket — I even wear it sometimes. I say, Mr. Deodhar, come to my house and I shall show you my jacket. Very beautiful material. One cannot acquire learning by putting on fine clothes — can one now?’ Some of our girls could not help laughing at this. They put their hankies to their lips and giggled. I felt embarrassed. IN an attempt to change the subject I told Buwasaheb that our students were anxious to hear him sing…He duly appeared at the school as promised, and sang beautifully for our students.

(snip)

“Shri Korgavkar…decided to start a harmonium class in Belgaum…he sent a most courteous invitation to Vazebuwa to preside over the inauguration function. Vazebuwa agreed….Buwasaheb was requested to give his presidential address. Buwasaheb stood up. The audience was all attention. Buwasaheb started, ‘Friends…friends.’ But he was at a loss to find anything more to say. After an embarrassingly long silence he said, ‘Nothing…nothing,’ and sat down. After repeated clamour from the audience and entreaties from the organizers, Buwasaheb once again stood up and continued his speech, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen! Today we are inaugurating this harmonium class. This instrument is known as a harmonium. We call it bend-baja (a derogatory term usually associated with a mouth-organ). So from today anyone who wants to learn to play bend-baja can do so.’

B.R. Deodhar: “Pillars of Hindustani Music,” pp. 128-130

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Month 2, Day 20: Dis is a system?

Continuing on the theme of economic reformation, and using a rather intellectual mathematical analogy to convey why our present system of economics is fatally flawed. Thanks to G2Geek at Kos for that; it’s not something I would have thought of, and it makes me look really really smart.

Dear President Obama:

I supported you vigorously in the election, volunteering, donating, phonebanking and advocating as strongly as I could over the course of the campaign. In the past year, however, you’ve hired a number of people who I believe compromise your Administration’s ability to strive toward the goals we all share.

Your economic advisers are locked into a faulty and destructive model of economics. Lawrence Summers and Timothy Geithner, for example, are advocates of “limitless” economic growth as a universal good. But it is self-evident (or should be) that we live on a finite planet. Advocating indefinite and continual economic growth in a closed system like Earth is analogous to mapping an infinite plane onto a Euclidean solid. Which is impossible. An infinity cannot be a subset of an integer.

Leaving aside the ethical questions of putting the same people who broke the economy in charge of fixing it, leaving aside the obscene profits accrued by individuals and firms who are closely linked to Geithner, Summers and Bernanke, the most important thing is that you need economic advisers who understand that “limitless” economics does not work on a limited planet.

If we remain a society of consumers, we shall all of us be consumed. It’s happening now, Mr. President, and it’s not pretty.

Respectfully yours,

Warren Senders

19 Feb 2010, 10:44pm
India photoblogging:
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  • Brighter Planet

    Brighter Planet's 350 Challenge
  • While we wait, more India photoblogging

    I’m writing some more detailed stuff about practice strategies, but it’s still under construction.

    Meanwhile, here are some pictures of signs in India.

    Patent medicine. Unfortunately, you can’t see the “after” picture. Take it from me that the guy is smiling.

    Bombay travel agents.

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    Ustad Amir Khan

    Because everybody should fall in love with a voice, and Amir Khan’s has filled my ears for over three decades now.

    Raga Malkauns

    Raga Todi

    Raga Yaman

    Month 2, Day 19: Consumption Used to Mean You Went to Switzerland or Arizona

    This one goes to both of my Elected Representatives. I had the germ of an idea about providing more useful environmental information on the things we buy. I know my purchasing habits would be very different if I knew how much ecological devastation had gone into the manufacture of some geegaw I was ogling, or how many thousands of miles a package of strawberries had to travel. Why not get that information, apply some sort of scoring algorithm, and incorporate it into product labeling?

    Dear Representative Markey and Senator Kerry — I write as a citizen concerned about the looming climate crisis. It is my belief that many ordinary people would like to do more — both to help forestall the disastrous effects of climate change, and to help make our culture more environmentally conscious in general. I have a suggestion for a program which could have an impact on the way Americans think about the environment and our role in transforming it.

    Our national purchasing habits could be dramatically altered if Environmental Impact information was displayed on product labels. We require such statements for large-scale construction and civil engineering projects; the “Energy Star” labeling program has had a demonstrable impact on consumer buying habits for household appliances — why not make this part of our purchasing equation for foodstuffs and consumer goods? An “Environment-friendly” scoring system would take into account the amount of waste involved in production, packaging and shipping; the sources of raw materials involved, and the likely lifespan of the product. A negative rating would describe an overpackaged product that used many toxic or ecologically detrimental raw materials, which required extensive transport before arriving at the point of purchase or warehousing, and which had a short expected lifespan before disposal; a positive rating would reflect minimal packaging, sustainable use of raw materials and efficient use of transport.

    A measure such as the one I’ve suggested will help change attitudes and purchasing habits. Ultimately, of course, that won’t be enough. Our national habits must change profoundly. To be a “consumer” can no longer reflect a positive American value, because the word implies a “taking out” without a corresponding “giving back.” In the nineteenth century, “consumption” was a euphemism for tuberculosis: a wasting disease, almost always fatal. For the long-term health of our planet, human beings in general (and Americans in particular, since we are the examples held up to the rest of the world) must stop taking out without giving back. We have seen the results of ungoverned consumerism emerge in the catastrophic synergy of environmental degradation, oceanic acidification, soaring GHG levels and an ecosystem under assault from thousands of varieties of toxic trash — and we can no longer afford it. Granted, our population may not be emotionally ready to end consumerism as it exists today…but make no mistake, if we don’t end it, it will surely end us.

    Thank you for your consideration.

    Yours Sincerely,

    Warren Senders

    Month 2, Day 18: “…Heard the Roar of a Wave That Could Drown the Whole World”

    I was reading about oceanic acidification in another alarming piece at DK — the diarist FishOutOfWater specializes in ocean stuff that’s hair-standing-on-end scary. Another commenter made some powerful suggestions about what humans have to do if we are to head off this catastrophe, and eventually that comment turned into a substantial diary, which you should definitely read. Anyway, I was thinking about all that when I sat down (rather late in the day, actually) to write my LOTD.

    I didn’t sleep a lot last night, and I’m too beat to think of a new recipient for this one…so I’ll send it to Time Magazine, and after they don’t print it, I’ll send it somewhere else.

    Edward Abbey said it well: “Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell.” Our national models of prosperity are built on a foundation of quicksand: the notion that endless economic growth is both possible and a good idea. It is a sad commentary on political realities that simply stating the obvious truth that we live on a finite planet is electoral suicide. But if we don’t face that inconvenient fact sooner rather than later, we will be facing a much messier suicide, as the Earth’s resources fail us. Take the world’s oceans, for example.

    Oceanic acidification is indisputably caused by human CO2 emissions, and has already reached levels not seen on this planet for fifty-five million years; the entire marine food chain is at risk — and half of humanity depends on the sea for sustenance. If excess acid kills the phytoplankton that provide significant proportions of our oxygen, we can add mass suffocation to the mix. How many people would die? Give or take a few hundred million, we’re looking at something like three billion. That’s a hundred and fifty times the size of the Nazi holocaust; one hundred and fifty Hitlers.

    Americans were ready to go to war in the aftermath of 9/11, a tragedy that cost us around five thousand lives. Are we prepared to make drastic changes in the way we live to forestall a slow-motion tragedy equivalent to six hundred-thousand 9/11’s? Are we prepared to radically re-evaluate the way we understand success? Prosperity? Progress? Humanity in general, and America in particular, must effect a profound transformation in our economic thinking if our species is to survive.

    Warren Senders

    Month 2, Day 17: More Hatin’ on Inhofe

    Continuing with the “97” theme for today’s letter, which will go off to the Boston Globe.

    This one is a pretty standard unfurling of my general talking points. I’m trying to have one or two genuinely creative letters a week, with the rest being permutations and combinations of the themes I’m recycling. Since yesterday’s letter went to Inhofe’s flunkies, I figured I’d go on dumping on him for another day or so.

    By now it’s utterly predictable: more snow will bring Republican climate-change “skeptics” out in full force. Sure enough, James Inhofe has built an igloo in front of the U.S. Capitol with a sign on it mocking Al Gore. Since Washington is the only place in the world that counts, Inhofe doesn’t care that the Winter Olympics had to import snow, or that temperatures elsewhere in the world are at record highs. The Oklahoma Republican refuses to admit the existence of a slowly unfolding disaster that will dwarf any crisis humanity has ever confronted. If ninety-seven out of a hundred inspectors called a restaurant unsanitary, you’d be crazy to eat there. If ninety-seven out of a hundred counter-terrorism experts told you that Al-Qaeda was planning a major operation, you’d be crazy not to take it seriously. But if ninety-seven percent of climatologists say that global warming is a real and present danger, they are mocked and derided by G.O.P. denialists. Our grandchildren will not be kind to the memory of Senator Inhofe and his ilk.

    Warren Senders